Be Happy with Melissa

We took a trip to our local farm, Scholz Family Farm, this past weekend. The kids enjoy visiting the goats, Sundance and Butch, and it is such a calming and welcoming place. While the kids were busy with the goats, Matt and I were trying to decide if we were going to replace our shriveled-up watermelon plants or switch gears completely and get tomato plants to replace them.

As we were looking at what vegetable starts the farm had left, one of our favorite farmers came over to say hi. I asked him if watermelon was hard to grow. He informed me that on this side of Washington it can be tricky. We get a lot of rain on this side of the mountain. He told us that watermelon plants do not like a lot of water until they fruit.

Since we tend to water daily if the soil looks dry in fear of NOT giving the plants ENOUGH water, I was confused. He comforted us by saying that lots of people over water but that at the farm, they only water at the farm about once or twice a summer. In my dumbfounded state, I must have given him a strange look because he went on to explain why. I love that they are willing to teach people the ins and outs of gardening/farming. We learn so much from them.

He explained to us that if we keep watering too often, the roots are totally fine staying up close to the surface of the soil and they can rot. He showed us a couple plant starts that he noticed while talking to us. “If they look droopy, they are done,” he said. To me it looked like it needed more water. HA!

He removed the plant from the soil to show us the roots and how they looked swollen and rotten. By keeping watering to a minimum, you are encouraging the roots to reach down deep into the soil to chase the water and create a better root base as well as a stronger and healthier plant. Even though it makes total sense, it still feels strange to resist watering my garden.

Then…
Because this is how my brain works, I was out doing one of my backyard walks when I thought back to our conversation with our favorite farmer. Then, in popped into my head how we are ALL like plants that are being over watered.

How many times in life do we stay comfortable? How many times do we choose to stay put instead of stretching ourselves? How many times do we get watered keeping us right where we are? After a while, many of us can feel like we are in a rut. We are TOO comfortable. We need to get UNcomfortable to grow. We need to get UNcomfortable to reach down deep. We need that firm foundation of a strong root base in order to grow a healthy plant on top of the soil.

I listen to a podcast called The Prosperity Practice by Danielle Amos. In her podcast she frequently reminds the listener that you are either growing or dying; there is no such thing as standing still. We need to put things into action to grow those roots so we can be a strong and healthy plant. Be it, Do it, Have it.

So, friends, I invite you to get a bit uncomfortable today. What do YOU want? What are YOUR goals? What are YOUR desires? Get uncomfortable. Reach for that water down deep in the soil and GROW!

In case you are super curious and you are afraid you will lose sleep, we decided to give the watermelon another try.
Be Happy, Find the JOY, and GROW!

Did you notice???  Look at the calendar!  It’s creeping into the middle of October.  October is the month of 10!  After October, there are only two months left in the year of 2017!  What is happening?!?!?!

Summer birthdays have come and gone in our house.  I now have a 9 and 3 year old.  What is happening?!?!?!  When I sit back and really soak in the moments of my kids playing lately, I am taken aback by how much they have grown in the last few months.  Let’s be honest.  It is actually pretty terrifying.  While the little moments just float on by, real change is happening daily.  The kids are getting older.  They are learning more things.  While I’m excited about the next stage of my children, part of me is sad the old stages are disappearing.

We started our third year homeschooling about a month ago.  It is funny writing that because it seems like a lot longer than a month ago.  The days pass slowly but the years pass quickly.  It took us almost a full month to get back into a routine.  It made me nervous to be honest.  The second week of school Marcus would scream, “No school!” every morning while we were getting all our books out.  That didn’t help us have a great start to the day.  I think Marcus has just accepted it now.  There are times when he still really just wants to play with Sis but for the most part he will play happily by himself.

We’ve worked on a lot of home projects in the last month, too!  It all started with renting a big machine with our neighbors.  We removed some of our bank by our driveway to straighten it out.  We removed the original walkway leading to our front door.  We brought in beauty bark to replace the old walkway.  It will eventually become a flower garden.  We even came up with a plan for our front deck!  Even better, we acted on our plan and it is almost done.  I will share our front yard transformation after we have completed our deck.  We are so close.  Just not enough hours in the day.

In the course of that months time and all the activities we have had going on, things are different.  Marcus is at that age where he changes a lot.  There are some mornings when he wakes up that I would swear to you (and I don’t typically swear) that he looks older.  He is starting to use so many more words in his sentences.  He is constantly pushing his boundaries.  This is so hard because I love that he is a spunky kid and can stand up for himself.  HOWEVER…I still need him to listen and obey.  I am sure many of you moms out there get what I am saying.  And Madelyn…she has reached a different level of attitude.  I am not saying that in a bad way but more in a way where it has changed.  It is a different type of attitude than it was a couple years ago.  I just noticed it was different today.  I know she is only 9 but it seems very preteen to me.  Or is that a whole different ballgame??  I guess time will tell on that one.  She also has a very caring nature about her.  She is very in tune with how others are feeling.  She enjoys trying to help out wherever she can.  She like to help lessen the load for me at times as well.  It is a very heartwarming trait.

In one months time.  So many changes.  So many growths.  “In the blink of an eye,” they say.  This thing called life is crazy hard.  Find those moments.  Soak them in.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  All the moments make up what we call life.

Find the joy.  Be happy.

Until Next time, friends!

 

Death…
It’s like a 4-letter word, only with 5 letters.

When a death happens in the family (or to a close friend’s family), it’s always amazing to me how the whole world doesn’t stand still with us. It seems like the affected family’s world turns at an incredibly slow pace. Everyone else continues to hustle and bustle about their day without a care. Don’t they know what just happened to our family?? How DARE they act as if nothing has happened!!!

I remember feeling this way with every loss (and almost loss) my family has experienced. I had the incredible experience of witnessing my Maternal Grandmother passing away. There was most definitely a higher power in that hospital room that both my Grandma and my young daughter saw. I was also in the room when my Paternal Grandmother passed away. Watching someone pass from this life to the next is a very unique experience. Those are stories for another day, I suppose.

As I am getting older, I’m noticing the number of people that I have lost keeps getting bigger. It makes sense, really. As I get older, I know more people. Additionally, those people that I knew as a little girl are getting older too. It’s unnerving, if I’m being honest. It really reminds you that you will not be here forever.

Matt’s Uncle passed away very unexpectedly last month. My family, both blood and in-law, are located all over the United States. Coast to coast, I believe. We don’t always have the time or the means to see everyone when everyone is so spread out. Even though it had been several years since Matt had seen his Uncle, the news hit him hard.

We don’t always see one another or talk or text, but we do take comfort in the fact that people are here among the living just doing their day to day thing. When a family member dies, there is a hole left . No matter how close or distant, there is always a hole.

When you lose someone, it makes you reminiscence about all the fun times (and maybe the not so fun times) you’ve had with that person. I, personally, only met Uncle Bill one time. That was on my wedding day. He was one of the groomsmen.

Matt and I had a very small, outdoor wedding. Since it was my wedding day, I was more preoccupied with wedding details than getting to know my new husbands extended family. I regret that I did not get the chance to know him better. To be fair, however, how well can you get to know someone in just a few hours??

When Matt got the phone call about his Uncle, I immediately thought of one specific picture. (Picture is below.)  If you know me at all, you know that I LOVE pictures! I grew up loving to look at picture albums that my Dad put together. Even now that my Sister and I are grown, we still enjoy pulling out those old photo albums and reliving the moments.

At our wedding, we had lots of people taking pictures and we even left disposable cameras on tables for our guests to help capture fun moments. After 10 years, I do not remember if the below picture was captured on a disposable camera or not, but someone was able to capture the fun and lightheartedness of the day.

One might think that these two men were brothers. They were, in fact, brothers-in-law. Their wives are sisters. They both served in the Army overseas in Germany at the same time. My Mother-In-Law and her Sister (and her kids) were also able to be in Germany with the guys.  Matt was born overseas in Germany, too.  Since they were family, and were in a foreign country, they spent a lot of time together and have a special bond that only they share from this experience. I enjoy listening to stories of their years in Germany before they came back home.

As a Christian family, we can take some comfort in knowing that we will see Uncle Bill again. It is still INCREDIBLY difficult knowing that we won’t see him again on this side of Heaven. Being a Christian doesn’t make the grief any less. He was a Husband, a Dad, a Grandpa, a Brother, an Uncle, and a Friend.

There is still a Wife, who no longer has her Husband. There are still a couple Kids, who no longer have their Dad. There is still a Brother, who no longer has his Brother. There is still a Grandchild, who no longer has a Grandpa. There are still Nieces and Nephews without their Uncle. And there are friends, who are now without a friend. Grief is grief. It looks different for everyone. There is no right or wrong way to grieve.  Now, there is a new handful of people walking in their own journey of grief. They all know they will see him again. And although that may bring some comfort in the early morning hours of not being able to sleep, it doesn’t change the fact that they must travel through this new journey of grief in their own way.

When someone passes unexpectedly, it reminds us to never let an argument stand in your way of forgiveness. Don’t hold grudges. Let people know that you love them. We are only here for a short time. Let’s leave a good mark and enjoy our time. Life is short. It’s been fun reading different stories that people have been sharing of Uncle Bill. It’s very apparent that he was a wonderful man of God.

And, I’m sure Uncle Bill is having a great time getting acquainted to his new Heavenly Home. Walking the streets of Gold, being reunited with family and friends who have gone on before him. He is probably feeling indescribable JOY! You guys, he gets to meet Jesus! Face to face! That’s incredible!

 

Sometimes you just gotta let them win! The below picture popped up in my, “On This Day” section for Facebook the other day.

I wrote the following caption with the picture,
“What do you do when you realize the kids made a huge mess while you were giving yourself a mani/pedi?? Ignore it and get everyone ice cream!”

I’ve been a Jamberry Independent Consultant for 2 years now, and on this particular day I was doing a new video for my customers about putting your Jamberry nail wraps on by using different heat sources.  My kids were being good and not bothering me while I was working and getting my video completed.  Unfortunately, they were a bit too quiet!  (For those curious, here’s the link to that video. I think it turned out pretty good! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFPaAkZBWN4 )

After I was done, I joined them in the living room. I looked around the room and couldn’t believe the mess! I remember that we had gotten a big stack of newspapers from Matt’s Grandma for us to use when we start our fires for our wood burning stove in the winter months. I hadn’t found a home for the stack yet and had left them in the living room. Apparently, that wasn’t a good idea. There were newspapers everywhere!! I remember my kids looking at me preparing themselves for me to explode. I had a choice to make. I could get mad and yell, or I could just roll with the punches. They were stunned and cheered when I asked, “Who wants ice cream??” It felt good to make that choice.

Sometimes (only sometimes) the best way to win a situation is to let the mess win. We enjoyed our ice cream cones together, laughed, smiled, and eventually got around to getting the mess picked up before bedtime. We made a memory. More importantly, we made a happy memory.

I’m glad this popped up in my news feed. This was such a great reminder for me. If I’m being completely honest, I’ve been kind of high-strung lately. I know I have been. I don’t mean to be. I’m aware of it but didn’t realize how bad it’s become until this memory popped up. I have so much currently going on, coming up, tasks that need to get done, and no time for re-filling my cup that I just don’t think straight and can lose my temper when I can’t get things accomplished.

I need to calm down and realize it’s not always going to go as planned, and that’s ok! It will eventually get done. Just not always as soon as I planned. It reminded me that it’s ok to bend the rules sometimes. It’s ok to take a chill pill and roll with the punches.

I want to use my blog to be completely honest about my feelings. Not only do I think this will help me be more aware of how I’m feeling and why I’m feeling the way I do, but I hope it helps someone else not feel so alone. I think too often we, as moms, feel alone in how we are feeling when in reality, if we are being COMPLETELY honest, most other moms are feeling the exact same way.

For me personally, I think what happens is that I feel like I must get all these “tasks” done in a timely fashion because that somehow determines how good of a housewife/mom I am. I understand that this is completely untrue.  It doesn’t change the fact that I think all these things need to get done.  I’ll talk to Matt about this sometimes.  I’ll say sorry that I’ve let the house get so messy or let the dishes pile up high in the sink and on the counter.  He always asks me if he has said anything to make me think that he was upset about the mess.  I always say no.  He always says that it’s not a big deal and that I’m too hard on myself.  He’s right.  I’m too hard on myself.  I’m the only one putting those expectations on myself.

I don’t like feeling like a high-strung mommy.  I don’t want my kids to have the memory of mommy always acting that way.  I’m not quite sure how to fix or change this characteristic about myself yet. I may never figure it out. Maybe admitting to it is the first step of just being more aware. If I’m more aware of this characteristic, maybe I can do more to understand why the feelings come out and I can address them more frequently. One can hope, right?

Find the JOY.  It’s there.

Sometimes things happen in your life and you just know it was a God thing. You look towards the Heavens and say, “I know that was you, God! Thanks!”

This past weekend, Matt’s work, Ranger Heating and Cooling, had a work party. They rented a Charter Yacht and we floated around Puget Sound for 3 hours. It was a wonderful evening! It’s a very rare thing to work at a place where coworkers and their families seem like family. It is most definitely a blessing. This get together was just for coworkers and spouses/significant others.

Some things Matt and I learned during this boat tour. I, spending most of my life in the Midwest, do not have sea legs. Graceful I am not! We also learned that I can’t handle the sway of a boat. I spent 95% of the time up on the bow of the boat with the wind in my face. As long as I was in the front with the wind, I was totally fine. Apparently if (or when, if you ask Matt) we get a boat, it has to be a bow rider.

At one point in the evening, everyone gathered in the back of the boat for a raffle and awards time. These can be pretty entertaining with LOTS of laughter, but like I said, I can’t handle the sway of the boat. So I stayed out front while everyone else was in the back. I did attempt to join everyone but we got caught in ripples of a couple BIG container ships. So, I politely and quickly excused myself to the front of the boat.

As I sat by myself, I looked towards the Heaven and thanked God. With Matt working such long hours this past month, I’ve felt like a single parent during the week. (Shout out to all you single parents out there…I have NO idea how you do that without going completely insane!) I sat in silence soaking in the beautiful Mount Rainier. It was a gorgeous evening with a clear sky. I didn’t see mountains growing up. I am constantly in awe of this grand mountain. As I sat, I just let the stress of the past few weeks melt away. I sat there in the glory of God’s creation and prayed for peace and calm in my heart. I’m a very introverted person who has had VERY little time to recharge my batteries. This is EXACTLY what I needed.

After the awards time was over, people came back to the bow of the boat and we had fun chatting and laughing. My heart needs to have laughter. This is something that has been missing the past few weeks. I need to remember to laugh more.

After a while, everyone got cold. The sun was setting and we were on the water.  I brought a coat, thanks to my husbands urging. I put my coat on and Matt and I sat on the bow of the boat for the rest of the evening. Just the two of us. It was so nice to talk without being interrupted by kids constantly. It was nice being able to talk freely about hopes and dreams without little ears around.

Since Matt grew up here, it was fun having him explain all the different things we saw on the water. Houseboats, homes right off the water, boatsheds, container ships, tug boats, and so on and so on. (I’m sure you noticed my boat lingo isn’t always correct. I’ll get there.)

It was also extremely interesting and strangely beautiful to see the Port of Tacoma in the foreground with the glorious view of the mountain in the background.

After we docked, I could move freely around the boat. We weren’t rocking too much since we were tied up. We chatted a bit longer with co-workers and then headed for our car. Once we got to our car, we chatted with Matt’s installation partner and his wife. We met them at a camp job that all 4 of us worked at about 12 years ago. It’s always fun to reminisce. We chatted for almost an hour before we decided we should really head home to our kiddos.

I know that was you, God. Thank you very much for giving me such an amazing evening to help recharge my batteries and go into the coming week with a complete fresh start!

As I’m scrolling through my Facebook feed recently, it’s hard to miss that school is out for the summer and summer camps are in full swing. This reminds me of when I was a camper as a kid and even more so when I was Camp Counselor while in college.

During my college days, I decided to be a Religion Major because I wanted to go on to Seminary and have a focus in Outdoor Ministries. Summer Camps and Christian Camps are a big deal to me. I connect more with God when I’m out in HIS creation than in a church building. I wanted to go into Outdoor Ministries to be able to help other people connect to God in this way as well.

As I think back to my Camp Counselor days, there is always one memory that pops into my head first. The memory makes me smile and proves that God will come to you wherever you are in life.

It was a particularly stressful week for me at camp. It was getting to the halfway mark of summer and I was tired, worn out, and a little homesick. At this particular summer camp, summer staffers are given a specific job title each week. One week you could be a Counselor, the next week you could be a Life Guard, or a Cook, or Wrangler working with the horses, or, like in my case, a Dining Room Host.

I actually really enjoyed being a Dining Room Host. It was my job to prepare the dining rooms (yes more than one) for each meal and sometimes snacks. I needed to make sure enough tables were out with the correct corresponding chairs for each counselor/camper group. I made announcements, kept the dining room orderly while everyone got food, led prayer (both singing and spoken….I love the singing graces!) and helped with clean up. I was then responsible for sweeping and mopping after meals and cleaning the common bathrooms in the dining hall areas.

During this week of camp, the camp I worked at was also hosting a different group while normal camp activities were going on. They did this for several different groups and/or organizations. This camp was mainly adults who had different mental challenges. This was my ABSOLUTE favorite camp to be the Dining Room Host for. The positivity these people had about life and their love of the Lord were so contagious. I just loved being around them.

As can happen during this camp, the bathrooms can get a little more gross than normal.  Yup, poop would sometimes get put on the walls.  It was very important to check in on the bathrooms multiple times a day to make sure everything was ok.

This particular week, like I said, was a little stressful for me. I was cleaning up the bathroom for the second time that day. I was just beat. There were little signs that hung on the toilet paper dispensers that read, “Empty??? Please look up!” I glanced at the sign while scrubbing that same bathroom stall for the second time. I rolled my eyes and chuckled. Empty??? YES! I’M EMPTY! I’m drained! I’m tired! I’m hot!

Then I glanced at the second part of the sign again. Please look up!

My head fell and I chuckled. Ok God, I hear you. You have my attention. You are right. When my cup runs dry I need to “look up” so I can get my cup refilled. I was struggling. God met me right where I was, literally in crap, to remind me to keep my eyes on Him. He will give me strength and comfort.

My week was still long and stressful. And yes, I did scrub poop off the wall several more times. The main lesson that stuck with me and has been relevant in every stage of my life is when you are feeling drained and you just don’t want to move forward, let God in and help you.  It’s ok to ask for help.  It’s especially ok to ask God for help and guidance.

Fast forward to 14 years later and I STILL think of that bathroom toilet paper dispenser sign. Empty??? Please look up! It’s so simple yet so HARD to do. I’m currently writing this after a stressful day with my kids. Its getting close to midnight and my husband is just now on his way back to the shop from the work site. He works in HVAC and it’s July. My 2 (almost 3 year old) is trying to find the line of where he can and can’t step over. Time outs are a thing that happen multiple times a day. Yelling is something that I do multiple times a day. My almost 9 year old is being really pouty lately when she doesn’t get her way. This is not how I envisioned motherhood would be.

I’m drained…..I’m tired…..

Empty??? Please! Look! Up! Why is this so hard to do? I know I should. But if I’m being really honest, I don’t nearly enough.

I’m not sure if you are going through something right now. If you are, please let God help you. I know it’s easier said than done. It’s a pride thing because we are human.

Are you Empty, friend???
Please look up!