Sometimes you just gotta let them win! The below picture popped up in my, “On This Day” section for Facebook the other day.

I wrote the following caption with the picture,
“What do you do when you realize the kids made a huge mess while you were giving yourself a mani/pedi?? Ignore it and get everyone ice cream!”

I’ve been a Jamberry Independent Consultant for 2 years now, and on this particular day I was doing a new video for my customers about putting your Jamberry nail wraps on by using different heat sources.  My kids were being good and not bothering me while I was working and getting my video completed.  Unfortunately, they were a bit too quiet!  (For those curious, here’s the link to that video. I think it turned out pretty good! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFPaAkZBWN4 )

After I was done, I joined them in the living room. I looked around the room and couldn’t believe the mess! I remember that we had gotten a big stack of newspapers from Matt’s Grandma for us to use when we start our fires for our wood burning stove in the winter months. I hadn’t found a home for the stack yet and had left them in the living room. Apparently, that wasn’t a good idea. There were newspapers everywhere!! I remember my kids looking at me preparing themselves for me to explode. I had a choice to make. I could get mad and yell, or I could just roll with the punches. They were stunned and cheered when I asked, “Who wants ice cream??” It felt good to make that choice.

Sometimes (only sometimes) the best way to win a situation is to let the mess win. We enjoyed our ice cream cones together, laughed, smiled, and eventually got around to getting the mess picked up before bedtime. We made a memory. More importantly, we made a happy memory.

I’m glad this popped up in my news feed. This was such a great reminder for me. If I’m being completely honest, I’ve been kind of high-strung lately. I know I have been. I don’t mean to be. I’m aware of it but didn’t realize how bad it’s become until this memory popped up. I have so much currently going on, coming up, tasks that need to get done, and no time for re-filling my cup that I just don’t think straight and can lose my temper when I can’t get things accomplished.

I need to calm down and realize it’s not always going to go as planned, and that’s ok! It will eventually get done. Just not always as soon as I planned. It reminded me that it’s ok to bend the rules sometimes. It’s ok to take a chill pill and roll with the punches.

I want to use my blog to be completely honest about my feelings. Not only do I think this will help me be more aware of how I’m feeling and why I’m feeling the way I do, but I hope it helps someone else not feel so alone. I think too often we, as moms, feel alone in how we are feeling when in reality, if we are being COMPLETELY honest, most other moms are feeling the exact same way.

For me personally, I think what happens is that I feel like I must get all these “tasks” done in a timely fashion because that somehow determines how good of a housewife/mom I am. I understand that this is completely untrue.  It doesn’t change the fact that I think all these things need to get done.  I’ll talk to Matt about this sometimes.  I’ll say sorry that I’ve let the house get so messy or let the dishes pile up high in the sink and on the counter.  He always asks me if he has said anything to make me think that he was upset about the mess.  I always say no.  He always says that it’s not a big deal and that I’m too hard on myself.  He’s right.  I’m too hard on myself.  I’m the only one putting those expectations on myself.

I don’t like feeling like a high-strung mommy.  I don’t want my kids to have the memory of mommy always acting that way.  I’m not quite sure how to fix or change this characteristic about myself yet. I may never figure it out. Maybe admitting to it is the first step of just being more aware. If I’m more aware of this characteristic, maybe I can do more to understand why the feelings come out and I can address them more frequently. One can hope, right?

Find the JOY.  It’s there.

Sometimes things happen in your life and you just know it was a God thing. You look towards the Heavens and say, “I know that was you, God! Thanks!”

This past weekend, Matt’s work, Ranger Heating and Cooling, had a work party. They rented a Charter Yacht and we floated around Puget Sound for 3 hours. It was a wonderful evening! It’s a very rare thing to work at a place where coworkers and their families seem like family. It is most definitely a blessing. This get together was just for coworkers and spouses/significant others.

Some things Matt and I learned during this boat tour. I, spending most of my life in the Midwest, do not have sea legs. Graceful I am not! We also learned that I can’t handle the sway of a boat. I spent 95% of the time up on the bow of the boat with the wind in my face. As long as I was in the front with the wind, I was totally fine. Apparently if (or when, if you ask Matt) we get a boat, it has to be a bow rider.

At one point in the evening, everyone gathered in the back of the boat for a raffle and awards time. These can be pretty entertaining with LOTS of laughter, but like I said, I can’t handle the sway of the boat. So I stayed out front while everyone else was in the back. I did attempt to join everyone but we got caught in ripples of a couple BIG container ships. So, I politely and quickly excused myself to the front of the boat.

As I sat by myself, I looked towards the Heaven and thanked God. With Matt working such long hours this past month, I’ve felt like a single parent during the week. (Shout out to all you single parents out there…I have NO idea how you do that without going completely insane!) I sat in silence soaking in the beautiful Mount Rainier. It was a gorgeous evening with a clear sky. I didn’t see mountains growing up. I am constantly in awe of this grand mountain. As I sat, I just let the stress of the past few weeks melt away. I sat there in the glory of God’s creation and prayed for peace and calm in my heart. I’m a very introverted person who has had VERY little time to recharge my batteries. This is EXACTLY what I needed.

After the awards time was over, people came back to the bow of the boat and we had fun chatting and laughing. My heart needs to have laughter. This is something that has been missing the past few weeks. I need to remember to laugh more.

After a while, everyone got cold. The sun was setting and we were on the water.  I brought a coat, thanks to my husbands urging. I put my coat on and Matt and I sat on the bow of the boat for the rest of the evening. Just the two of us. It was so nice to talk without being interrupted by kids constantly. It was nice being able to talk freely about hopes and dreams without little ears around.

Since Matt grew up here, it was fun having him explain all the different things we saw on the water. Houseboats, homes right off the water, boatsheds, container ships, tug boats, and so on and so on. (I’m sure you noticed my boat lingo isn’t always correct. I’ll get there.)

It was also extremely interesting and strangely beautiful to see the Port of Tacoma in the foreground with the glorious view of the mountain in the background.

After we docked, I could move freely around the boat. We weren’t rocking too much since we were tied up. We chatted a bit longer with co-workers and then headed for our car. Once we got to our car, we chatted with Matt’s installation partner and his wife. We met them at a camp job that all 4 of us worked at about 12 years ago. It’s always fun to reminisce. We chatted for almost an hour before we decided we should really head home to our kiddos.

I know that was you, God. Thank you very much for giving me such an amazing evening to help recharge my batteries and go into the coming week with a complete fresh start!

As I’m scrolling through my Facebook feed recently, it’s hard to miss that school is out for the summer and summer camps are in full swing. This reminds me of when I was a camper as a kid and even more so when I was Camp Counselor while in college.

During my college days, I decided to be a Religion Major because I wanted to go on to Seminary and have a focus in Outdoor Ministries. Summer Camps and Christian Camps are a big deal to me. I connect more with God when I’m out in HIS creation than in a church building. I wanted to go into Outdoor Ministries to be able to help other people connect to God in this way as well.

As I think back to my Camp Counselor days, there is always one memory that pops into my head first. The memory makes me smile and proves that God will come to you wherever you are in life.

It was a particularly stressful week for me at camp. It was getting to the halfway mark of summer and I was tired, worn out, and a little homesick. At this particular summer camp, summer staffers are given a specific job title each week. One week you could be a Counselor, the next week you could be a Life Guard, or a Cook, or Wrangler working with the horses, or, like in my case, a Dining Room Host.

I actually really enjoyed being a Dining Room Host. It was my job to prepare the dining rooms (yes more than one) for each meal and sometimes snacks. I needed to make sure enough tables were out with the correct corresponding chairs for each counselor/camper group. I made announcements, kept the dining room orderly while everyone got food, led prayer (both singing and spoken….I love the singing graces!) and helped with clean up. I was then responsible for sweeping and mopping after meals and cleaning the common bathrooms in the dining hall areas.

During this week of camp, the camp I worked at was also hosting a different group while normal camp activities were going on. They did this for several different groups and/or organizations. This camp was mainly adults who had different mental challenges. This was my ABSOLUTE favorite camp to be the Dining Room Host for. The positivity these people had about life and their love of the Lord were so contagious. I just loved being around them.

As can happen during this camp, the bathrooms can get a little more gross than normal.  Yup, poop would sometimes get put on the walls.  It was very important to check in on the bathrooms multiple times a day to make sure everything was ok.

This particular week, like I said, was a little stressful for me. I was cleaning up the bathroom for the second time that day. I was just beat. There were little signs that hung on the toilet paper dispensers that read, “Empty??? Please look up!” I glanced at the sign while scrubbing that same bathroom stall for the second time. I rolled my eyes and chuckled. Empty??? YES! I’M EMPTY! I’m drained! I’m tired! I’m hot!

Then I glanced at the second part of the sign again. Please look up!

My head fell and I chuckled. Ok God, I hear you. You have my attention. You are right. When my cup runs dry I need to “look up” so I can get my cup refilled. I was struggling. God met me right where I was, literally in crap, to remind me to keep my eyes on Him. He will give me strength and comfort.

My week was still long and stressful. And yes, I did scrub poop off the wall several more times. The main lesson that stuck with me and has been relevant in every stage of my life is when you are feeling drained and you just don’t want to move forward, let God in and help you.  It’s ok to ask for help.  It’s especially ok to ask God for help and guidance.

Fast forward to 14 years later and I STILL think of that bathroom toilet paper dispenser sign. Empty??? Please look up! It’s so simple yet so HARD to do. I’m currently writing this after a stressful day with my kids. Its getting close to midnight and my husband is just now on his way back to the shop from the work site. He works in HVAC and it’s July. My 2 (almost 3 year old) is trying to find the line of where he can and can’t step over. Time outs are a thing that happen multiple times a day. Yelling is something that I do multiple times a day. My almost 9 year old is being really pouty lately when she doesn’t get her way. This is not how I envisioned motherhood would be.

I’m drained…..I’m tired…..

Empty??? Please! Look! Up! Why is this so hard to do? I know I should. But if I’m being really honest, I don’t nearly enough.

I’m not sure if you are going through something right now. If you are, please let God help you. I know it’s easier said than done. It’s a pride thing because we are human.

Are you Empty, friend???
Please look up!